Criticism in a relationship—even when it’s meant to be constructive—sure can land hard! And automatic impulses to explain, defend, or justify make perfect sense as they’re human responses. But they’re not relational or connecting.

Thankfully there are ways to meet these moments that help you stay grounded and connected—even when the feedback is hard to hear. Knowing how to handle criticism in a relationship is something you can learn to do and even do well.

Have you ever had someone say, “I’m fine,” but their tone, posture, or energy told you they were anything but? That’s communication. Maybe you've given the silent treatment, shut down in an argument, or avoided a difficult conversation altogether (only to find that the tension grew stronger). That’s communication too. We can’t not communicate.