Why Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues Could Be Your Next Best Step
The best relationships don’t just happen.
They are shaped by the energy we invest in them. While moments of ease and harmony are possible, they are the result of ongoing effort—for example, listening well, expressing needs with kindness, and repairing when things go awry. The work is not always easy, but it creates the foundation for something lasting and strong! Without effort there is no ease.
The good news!
Relationship ease does exist! It’s just that it just doesn’t magically show up. We don’t get it without putting in the reps, without doing the work, without choosing to create a good (or great) relationship every single day.
Do we deserve good relationships? OF COURSE we do! Do we get them for nothing? Absolutely not! We have to earn them. And work on them every. single. day. (I know, I’m on repeat here—this message bears repeating.)
Where to start
Have you been feeling stuck in the ‘off’ position in your relationship? Wanting to ‘fix’ what hasn’t been working, but not sure how? And thoughts of “If only they would change, everything would be better” have been seductively running through your head! (Would you be surprised to know your partner is very likely thinking the exact same things?)
So, while relationship challenges are sometimes best tackled as a couple where both partners are challenged in their accountability in the same space at the same time, what if, right now, the best way to create the changes you’re looking for starts with focusing on yourself?
This is where individual therapy for relationship issues comes in. To be sure, this is not about blaming yourself or taking on all the responsibility. Nope! This is about understanding your role in the relationship and learning how to show up in new ways that build a solid relationship foundation.
Individual therapy for relationship issues is about growth
How to start: You work individually with a therapist to address the challenges in your relationships. And instead of focusing on what your partner or others need to change, we explore what your patterns, behaviors, and emotional responses show up like in your world. We look at how you contribute to the dynamics of your relationships and then for ways to make your contributions healthier.
Some common issues include things like:
Feeling dismissed, neglected, or unappreciated
Having intense responses to interactions or conflicts
Having trouble asking for wants or needs
Therapy helps you understand what’s going on underneath the hood and gives you tools to help you navigate them with skill and intentionality.
Why men benefit from the individual approach
For many, seeking therapy feels daunting—and this may be especially true for men. So, a benefit of individual therapy for relationship issues is that it offers private and supportive space where it’s only you and your therapist. This may make it easier to speak, share, and process openly.
Individual therapy can also be helpful because it will be tailored to your own life experiences and therapy goals, not just the goals of a couple. So, together we’ll find ways for you to improve communication and connection, identify and ask for your needs and wants, and build the life you look forward to living. These benefits aren’t just limited to your romantic relationship—you might notice better relationship dynamics with other important people in your life too.
What you can expect to work on
Therapy is a collaborative process, and what we focus on is about your specific needs and goals. That said, here are some common areas we might explore:
Managing conflict: How do you typically respond to disagreements? Would you like to learn to handle them in a way that strengthens your relationship instead of undermining it?
Repairing ruptures: Do your conflicts end in ‘returning to your corners’ and not speaking for days? What would it be like to repair ruptures and heal wounds so you spend more time connecting than distancing?
Listening to understand and empathize: Do you tend to listen with just ‘half an ear’ because you’re already thinking about how to ‘fix’ your partner’s complaint? What if learning to listen to understand led to deeper connection with your partner?
Expressing needs: Do you struggle with how to say what you need or want? What would it sound like to ‘be fluent’ in making requests versus making demands?
Impact of individual therapy on your relationships
Relationships are like plants—how we nurture them matters. Neglect invites weeds, rot, and stagnation, while consistent care allows for steady growth. A thriving garden requires attention, even when the weather seems perfect. You might skip a day or two without disaster, but the healthiest gardens are tended to daily. Every. Single. Day. Are the leaves wilting? Is the soil dry? Are there bugs? Small issues are easiest to catch—and correct!—when you make a habit of walking through your garden, noticing what needs care, and responding with intention. Relationships flourish the same way—through steady, mindful effort.
Ultimately, this is what individual therapy can offer you—when you invest in your own growth, your relationships grow with you. Strengthening your roots, keeping your soil healthy, and maintaining ideal conditions create the foundation for deeper, more fulfilling connections. Therapy provides the tools to nurture these conditions with greater ease and confidence over time. With continued attention and care, your efforts can yield a rich bounty, such as a greater sense of fulfillment, connection, and resilience in your relationships.
Wrapping up
So, if you’ve been feeling stuck in your relationship, individual therapy could be your next best step. It’s an opportunity to focus on what you can control—you. And it highlights your thoughts, actions, and choices. So, choose you for both of you and start your work toward creating positive and healthy changes that impact every area of your life.
You don’t have to keep trying to figure it out alone. I’m here to help. When you’re ready to take the first step, click here to schedule your free, no-obligation, 20-minute consultation.
