What We Can Learn from the Cast of Netflix’s ‘Love on the Spectrum’ to Strengthen Our Relationships
Thank you, Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash
Whether you’re navigating a new relationship, learning how to be more present and open-hearted, or trying to reconnect with your partner, Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum offers something deeply valuable: a reminder of what really matters in love.
This series follows people on the autism spectrum as they explore dating and relationships—with vulnerability, joy, awkwardness, and courage. While the show spotlights folks who are neurodivergent, the emotional honesty and thoughtfulness they bring to dating and relationships are universal. There's so much we can all learn from watching them love and be loved.
These takeaways may inspire you or help strengthen your relationship skills—whether you're dating, partnered, or exploring individual therapy for relationship issues on your own.
Say what you mean—with honesty and heart
These cast members notably share a superpower! They speak plainly and directly. They consistently model communication that is honest without being hurtful—whether expressing excitement for a date or sharing that they didn’t feel a connection. This kind of clarity takes courage—and that honesty is one of the cornerstones of any strong relationship.
When we can say what we feel (“I’m nervous,” “I’m excited to see you,” “I’d rather not go to that party tonight,” “This is hard“) we invite our partner to meet us with empathy, not guesswork.
No is not rejection—it’s information
While owning any difficulty, the cast members regularly model respect for self and other in saying No when something doesn’t feel right and hearing No with grace. This is a lovely lesson of how to not take things personally. Relationships thrive when we can both set boundaries and hear our partner’s boundaries without spiraling into shame or blame—we can set limits and remain connected.
Know what you’re looking for
Throughout the series, people talk openly about the qualities they hope to find in a partner. Kindness. Thoughtfulness. Shared interests. Understanding what we truly value—and why—helps us cultivate stronger connections and be more present in our relationships.
Wanting a thoughtful partner doesn’t mean we expect perfection. It means we honor ourselves by choosing relationships where we can be nourished and seen.
Be open to your partner’s interests
Watching cast members genuinely ask about and listen to their date’s passions reminds us that love doesn’t mean sameness. It means curiosity. Be curious about what lights up your person—even (or especially) if it’s not your thing. This shows love and respect and can deepen your connection.
Silence isn’t awkward—it’s intimacy in another form
Feeling safe enough to simply be together in silence is a powerful sign of connection. Not every space needs to be filled with words. Learning to be at ease in the quiet can be a sign of emotional safety and trust.
Be yourself—all the way
Watching the cast be fully themselves—no hiding, no pretense—reminds us that authenticity is a gift to ourselves and in our relationships. Your quirks (we all have something) and passions are part of what makes you lovable and wonderful. Embrace your uniqueness and give your partner the chance to do the same.
Be kind—even when it’s not a match
If you’re not in a committed partnership … No ghosting. No cruelty. Just kindness. We don’t need a romantic future with someone to treat them with respect.
If you are partnered, the same standards apply … No ghosting your partner in the form of avoiding them or not talking to them for days (or even hours). No cruelty. Just kindness. Honor your commitment to your person with kindness and respect.
It’s okay to feel awkward
Let’s normalize awkwardness. First dates. Hard conversations. Trying something new in a long-term relationship. It can all feel clumsy—and that’s okay. Growth often begins with awkward first steps. Show heart!
Consent is ongoing—and compassionate
Whether it’s asking for a hug, checking in before holding hands, or revisiting a past yes, Love on the Spectrum reminds us that consent is a continual conversation. Even if your partner has said yes before, ask first—it’s kind, compassionate, respectful, and loving. (Bonus: it can even be sexy.)
We all want and deserve love—and are worthy of it. All of us. Full stop.
Perhaps the most quietly powerful and far-reaching message of the series is this: we all want love—and we all deserve it. Every single one of us. Love that’s gentle. Love that’s safe. Love that honors who we are.
We may not express it in expected ways, feel confident asking for it, or have felt it in return when we’re longing for it, but deserving love never means being a perfect human. Being in relationship is vulnerable and brave. Loving and being loved takes courage, practice, and support.
It’s okay to ask for help (actually, it’s great to ask for help)
We saw some cast members receive formal coaching in addition to support and guidance from friends or family. What great modeling for us viewers! As in the show, your relationship doesn’t have to—and I assert it shouldn’t—grow in isolation. Whether you talk to a therapist, turn to trusted couples for guidance, or learn by watching others, getting support is not a sign of failure—it demonstrates you’re invested.
Practice builds confidence
Many people don’t think of relationship confidence as a skill that, like any other skill, requires practice, nurturing, and patience. Relationship confidence grows when we try something, reflect on it, and try again. Saying how we feel. Setting a boundary. Apologizing. Asking for affection. These skills—like communication and vulnerability—get stronger each time we use them.
If you’re ready to reflect, grow, or simply feel more supported in love, therapy can help. Whether you're dating, partnered, hoping to be, or figuring things out, you’ve got this—and I’m here to help.
Let’s talk.
Or send me a message here.
Love on the Spectrum. Created by Cian O'Clery. Netflix, 2020–present. https://www.netflix.com/title/81265493
Bonus FAQ for curious minds: Individual Therapy for Relationship Issues
Can therapy help if my partner won’t come with me?
Yes! Individual therapy is powerful. You can learn new tools, shift patterns, and improve your relationship—even if your partner isn’t in the room.
What kinds of relationship issues can individual therapy help with?
Everything from communication struggles and emotional disconnection to resentment, trust, conflict, and intimacy challenges.
Will therapy tell me whether I should stay or go?
Therapy will help you get clear on what you want, need, and value so your decisions are grounded in self-awareness, not habit or fear.
How long does therapy usually take?
That depends on your goals, but many people begin to notice real change after a few months. We’ll work at your pace.
Is individual therapy only for single people?
Nope. Many people come to therapy while in long-term partnerships to explore their own patterns, needs, or desires.
What if I’m the one who ‘messes things up’?
We all have patterns that get in the way of connection—and there’s never just one thing. Therapy is a judgment-free space to understand and gently shift those patterns.
I’ve been hurt before. How can I trust again?
That’s one of the bravest things you can bring into therapy. Together, we’ll create safety, explore your fears, and rebuild your trust in yourself first.
Do you only work with romantic relationships?
Not at all. I work with all kinds of relationships—family, friends, co-workers—because the patterns in one type of relationship generally show up in others.
